ALLISON MARTIN

Sometimes I think about how ridiculous my relationship with my husband would sound as a romance novel. I’d absolutely adore it on the page—but I know for a fact it would get roasted in reviews for being “too unrealistic.”

Still, it’s fun to imagine, so let me break down the tropes we’d hit if our story ever got turned into a book:

Trope #1: Reverse Grumpy/Sunshine
Let’s start at the beginning. When we first met, I couldn’t stand him. He was this goofy, ultra-confident athlete, full of charm he knew he had, and I was the ‘misunderstood’, introverted art nerd who had zero patience for it. To be fair, he didn’t exactly make the best first impression. But then, through forced proximity (I dated one of his teammates which was wholly a terrible decision) and excellent banter, we somehow became friends. By the time we were 15 and 17, we were close enough that I could barely remember why I disliked him in the first place. Turns out, bickering builds bonds. And I crushed him in a competitive game of rock paper scissors. I’ve never won anything since so I’m starting to believe he may have lost on purpose…

Trope #2: Best Friend’s Off-Limits Cousin
Here’s where things get tricky: he’s my best friend’s cousin. Which, if you’ve ever been in this situation, you know is basically code for “absolutely do not cross this line.” He was off-limits, plain and simple. (Was that a rule he respected? Absolutely not. Did it add an extra layer of tension to our slow-burn friendship? You bet it did.)

Trope #3: Right Person, Wrong Time
This one should probably be the tagline of our story. There were countless moments when we could’ve made the leap from friendship to something more, but life just never lined up. We’d have these great conversations or these moments of chemistry where it felt like, okay, maybe this is it—only for one of us (Read: me) to hit pause because of maturity, fear, or other potential relationships. It was frustrating, it was messy, and it was very on-brand for a slow-burn romance that takes forever to get to the point. But no matter where we were in the world, we’d find our way back to each other.

Trope #4: Shameless Flirting, Reluctant Falling
The man is a shameless flirt. Always has been, always will be. Even back when I wasn’t ready to admit I liked him, he had this way of getting under my skin with the kind of teasing that was equal parts infuriating and irresistible. And of course, I tried my hardest not to fall for it. Spoiler alert: I failed. Miserably.

Trope #5: Teacher-Matchmaker
Now, here’s where things get almost too unbelievable. His mom was my grade 8 homeroom and social studies teacher. (Yes, you read that correctly.) She knew me before we were even friends, and at one point after he was in a not-so-awesome relationship told him he should be with someone like me. Now she’s the very best MIL a girl could have.

Trope #6: Long Distance, Quick Cohabitation
For a while, we were long-distance. (Because of course we were. Why make things easy?) But when the timing finally did work out, we didn’t waste any time. After about three months of official dating, we moved in together. Did it seem fast? Maybe. Did it work out perfectly anyway? Ehhhh, not perfectly, there were a few almost 3rd act breakups but it’s been 16 years now so I think we are doing okay. There’s something to be said for knowing when you’ve found your person and deciding you’re in it for forever.

Trope #7: BFF Soulmate Energy
At the end of the day, the real heart of our story is this: he’s my very best friend. He’s the person who knows me better than anyone, who can make me laugh when I want to cry, and who will always, always show up for me. We bicker like no one’s business, but underneath it, there’s this unshakable foundation of love and understanding that I can’t imagine my life without.

So yeah, if our love story were a romance novel, it would probably get 1-star reviews for being “too unrealistic.” The grumpy/sunshine pairing, the off-limits cousin twist, the magnetic attractions, the slow-burn dislike-to-friendship-to-lovers arc—it’s all a little too perfect. But here’s the thing: I wouldn’t change a single chapter.

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